


Learning to Let Go

by asoulfuldrifter



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drenching in the rain, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Liam is a ball of sunshine, Liam just wants him to be happy, M/M, Malik family loves Liam, Mutual Pining, OTP Feels, Other characters are mentioned briefly, Protective Liam, Self-Discovery, Zayn is getting married, Zayn is just trying to do his job, Zayn-centric, a bit of jealous Zayn, mostly Ziam, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 04:02:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5770504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asoulfuldrifter/pseuds/asoulfuldrifter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn has always been responsible, putting his family first, ignoring what he wants for the sake of others. So in order to save his company and secure their future, he says yes to a marriage proposal. It's not like he has someone special in his life, he reasons. Just when things seem fine, he meets Liam, and he starts to question every decision he ever made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning to Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction and does not translate to how I feel about them in real life. This is entirely self-indulgent, I just had this idea and I couldn't get it out of my head. Hope you guys like it! xo

There are people everywhere, watching him, with a proud look on their faces, with this sense of approval that has him smiling, despite himself. This is what he wanted isn't it, this is what he worked so hard for, everyone saying that they are proud of him, saying what a responsible young man he has become. His baba is among them, approaching him for a hug, whispering a quiet, "I'm happy for you, beta." And he does look happy, he notes, telling everyone who listens to him, what a wonderful son he is. He can see his mum in the background, surrounded by his aunts, looking at him with a tearful smile, silently letting him know that she is glad he is settling down, glad that he has accepted the proposal without a hint of hesitation, because that is what he is, he tells himself, a responsible person, the one everyone can count on, one who will preserve the family name and reputation. He always craved for this kind of approval, ignoring what he wants for the sake of his family; wants to, _needs_ to make everyone happy, and if saying yes to this marriage is something that will benefit them, he will do it in a heartbeat.

It was about their company going through a rough time, and everyone being worried about their future. Zayn was not going to let that happen though. He knows how his baba single-handedly started the company, how it was his pride and joy. So when his baba's friend decided to lend a helping hand, he was ecstatic, only to find that it was more than a business partnership. They wanted his hand in marriage to their daughter. And honesty, Zayn knew this would happen, that he may not have a choice in any of the major decisions in his life, and he didn't mind giving away the freedom, if it meant he would contribute to his family name. So he does what he has been doing since he was a boy, he says _yes_.

Things aren't so bad, he thinks. He stands there, mind heavy, several thoughts going through him at once, leaving him paralysed. This is for the best, he reasons, and shakes himself out of his trance. He moves forward, only  to be bombarded by people congratulating him, most of them he can't recognize, must be from the bride's side of the family. That reminds him of the girl he is about to spend the rest of his life with, and he scans the room, his eyes finally landing on her only to find her looking back at him. She is pretty, he thinks, with a well-behaved mannerism, standing there tall and poised, looking every bit of the perfect woman he was promised with. He finds her quickly looking away, trying to hide her blush, and he decides he likes her. He has seen her around before, during parties and gatherings, she always seemed nice; nice enough for him to know he can make himself love her someday.

Someone bumps into him from behind and he turns around, only to find Louis, and he releases a long sigh of relief at the sight of his best friend. "Are you sure about this Malik?" asks Louis, and he nods, he knows that he is, or at least will be. "Let's get out of here yeah? Need a smoke," he says, tugging Louis along, not waiting for his reply. They manage to sneak into his room, and Zayn quickly lights a joint, going to the balcony to let out a long exhale. He takes a few deep inhales, cherishing the way the burn soothes him, making him crave for more. He goes to light another one  when Louis tugs it out of his hand. "You could say no to all this you know. Your parents will understand Zayn! You already proved your worth, you don't _have_ to do this mate," he hears him say, and he knows this, he _does_ , but at that time saying no in front of all those people, in front of his _baba,_ seemed even worse. "It's alright Louis, I don't mind yeah. She seems like a great girl and honestly, it's not like I have someone else in my life."  He watches Louis give up after that, smiles fondly at his friend's concern, giving him a side-ways hug. "Everything will be fine," he sighs, more to reassure himself than Louis, hoping that it's true.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

_He dreams of a place, a completely deserted area with nothing around;  finds a breathtaking view of the never-ending sky and ocean surrounding him, as he stares endlessly into the unknown. He feels this sense of tranquillity within himself, quite content with his own company, without any major responsibilities impending upon him. He dreams of this life where he can be himself, which is funny he thinks, as he lost sight of who he really is and what it is that he wants. He finds himself sitting at the shore, on the rocks, letting the waves caress his feet, and a serene smile forming on his face. He thinks he hears someone call out for him, and he turns around, searching for the source, frowning when not finding any. The pitch continues to grow and suddenly there is water everywhere._

He wakes up groggily, only to find both Waliyhaand Safaa  giggling loudly, an empty pitcher in their hand, explaining  his wet state. He glares at them, showing his disapproval, but they seem unfazed.  "Bhaiya, mum wanted us to wake you up. Something about clothes fitting and shopping," Safaa tells him, poking her tongue out. Before he can get a word out, they are running away. He sighs, dragging himself to the washroom, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He looks like he hasn't slept for days, and he feels even worse. When he said yes to the marriage a month ago, he never thought every day would turn out to be this exhausting. It's been a festive environment at his house, all his relatives and distant family friends visiting, girls dancing about to the bollywood beat in colorful traditional attires, flower decorations hanging on every wall, shopping and then more shopping. It should feel good, great even, all these things leading up to his big day, but somehow it doesn't. That need to escape for a bit, desert himself from everyone keeps increasing and he doesn't know what to do. He has been in the office a lot lately, immersing himself in work to stay away from home, and that nagging feeling continues to grow. In a month he will be married and for the first time in a very long time, he wonders if he made the right choice.

He quickly gets ready and presents himself downstairs, a put upon smile as a greeting to everyone. He thinks of quietly skipping outside when his dad spots him. "Zayn! Your future  father-in-law here thinks that our company could use a few of his men. Most of his employees are highly competent but they could use a brief training about our practices. I was planning on going to their headquarters in London for few days, to make sure everything goes smoothly. I need you to take care of things here beta." he hears him say. This is it, he thinks. A perfect excuse to exclude himself from here for a few days. He is sure once he finds some quiet, he will be fine. He looks up to see two expectant faces staring at him, waiting for a reply, when suddenly he finds himself saying "I'll go!". He quickly calms himself and explains "I'll go. The company needs you here more. I can handle the briefing of the employees over there. All the arrangements here are almost done baba. Besides, it will be me handling those employees when they transfer here to Bradford. So why not train them myself?" he says hoping he was convincing enough. "Is your mum driving you crazy with all the shopping  Zayn?" his father says, chuckling. "Okay. You can go. You will be running the company in a couple of years, it'll do you good," he hears him say, and he sighs in relief.  After a long time, he actually can't wait for tomorrow to come.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Zayn  thinks he gets the allure of London, it is beautiful in every sense, even though he prefers Bradford over it, something about the people there. He goes straight to his hotel. And he feels better already, settling in his suite, lounging around for some time. After some well deserved rest, he wakes up quite early the next day, in an unusually good mood, surprising himself, and decides to walk the short distance to the office, lighting up a joint on the way.

He reaches the building with a few minutes to spare, so he goes to grab a quick coffee from the cafe across the street. He seats himself in the corner, sipping his drink and eyeing the people in the room. He finds people in suits hurrying to reach the office in time, people with their heads glued to their phones, people like _him_ , and he wonders what it's like to chill out for the day, have the calmness of nothing going on in his life, and he stops thinking.

Just as he is about to leave, a guy walks into the door. He is dressed similar to him, in a suit, presentable and not unlike the majority of people in here. But there is something different about him, Zayn notes. He watches him politely order a cuppa, a huge smile on his face, making the poor barista flutter a bit and blush, and he thinks he cannot blame her. He seems like the only person that is genuinely happy to be going to work at this godforsaken hour, and he finds himself smiling a bit. It must be contagious, that smile, as the barista offers him a huge smile as well, handing him the order. He watches the guy trying to manoeuvre around the crowd and failing when he slams into someone at the door.

Zayn winces, somehow feeling his pain, and rushes to help him. He spots the guy trying to collect the scattered papers which are now drenched in the coffee. He lends him a helping hand  and when he looks up to hand him back the papers, he finds the guy staring at him. And wow--  there are a pair of earnest brown eyes looking into his, plush lips pressed together, jaw sharp with a dusting of stubble spread across. He can't be older than him he notes, looks to be in his early 20's. A few seconds pass and the guy is still staring and Zayn blushes, is it embarrassment or something else, he doesn't quite know. He clears his throat a little loudly and that does it, the guy seems to come out of his haze, quickly apologizing and thanking him. He seems flustered and a mournful look spreads on his face at the sight of the ruined material in his hands, and Zayn sympathizes. He is about to say something when the guy rushes out in a hurry.  'Okay?' he mutters to himself, shakes his head and makes his way towards the office.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

When he walks into the building, he is quickly reminded of why he is doing this. The office is almost twice as big as their own, the entire ten floors owned by his future in-laws, located in the prime location of the city. The company was at the peak of its success as well, he finds after a thorough research; the employee count almost four times as that of his own company. He knows if anyone could help them from shutting down their business, it is them and only he can make it happen.

He approaches the front desk, informing the receptionist of his name, and is quickly escorted to the top level, into a meeting room. He composes himself, mindful of the eyes upon him, wanting to make the best impression. After a quick introduction, he takes a seat among the board of directors. He is informed that this meeting was arranged to discuss the new alliance with his company, and he needs to approve of the proposals laid upon by them regarding the resources and budget planning.

He scans the people in the room, most of them much older than him, except for a bunch of guys at the front. One of them starts a presentation of a proposal and he realizes they are the young talent recently recruited and they are the ones Zayn is supposed to train. This guy has a mop of curly hair and flashy dimples, and seems to thrive in the attention. Next, a blonde one with an easy grin, blue eyes that could outshine Louis' and far too much energy, starts another presentation, and Zayn thinks there are some great ideas that could be implemented. It continues like that, one by one from that group sharing their ideas and by the time he thinks it has come to an end, a guy stumbles in.

It's the same guy, Zayn recollects, the one from the cafe across. He seems even more flustered than the morning, red creeping at his cheeks probably from the embarrassment of interrupting the meeting. He apologizes for being late, quickly starting his own proposal. He didn't seem to notice him though so Zayn takes his time to observe him properly. The guy is tall, well-built, muscular broad shoulders evident even through the suit; a suit that's tailored to perfection, fitting him snugly. His hair is slicked back, making him look sharp, with a slight curve of the nose, bringing in some softness. His voices flows like a melody, soothing him from the inside, providing the warmth that he didn't know he needed.  

He did not realise he had drifted off into his thoughts, until he is shaken by one of the directors asking him his opinion on the proposals. "It's great, I see a lot of thought put into these presentations and I'm sure we can work together to produce something great. The potential in you guys is huge, and I will overlook your work and possibly explain some of our policies to make the transition as easy as possible for you guys," he addresses the group, getting hums of approval from them in return. He looks at the cafe guy from the morning, only to find him staring at him again, a shocked expression on his face, lips parted open slightly and he can't help but smirk at him. He watches everyone disperse and the guy awkwardly shuffling out of the room, and he doesn't know what to think of it.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Liam. He finds out that the name of the cafe guy is Liam and--  it suits him, he thinks. And he is left wondering why this Liam guy has such an effect on him. He barely spoke to the guy, knows nothing about him other than his name and his job. Yet his emotions feel so attuned to his own. He glances out of his corner office and finds Liam at his cubicle, chatting with two of the boys from the meeting earlier. And he realizes that's the effect Liam has on everyone around him, because he can see the other guys grinning fondly at him, and he can feel himself smiling as well. He shakes his head, focussing on his duty instead.

There are ten people he is supposed to brief initially, more people adding later this year, so he starts simple by addressing the values and policies that the company stands for, and getting to know everyone. He notices Liam being tense than everyone else but thinks nothing of it. After he dismisses everyone, he finds Liam lingering behind, so he raises a curious brow. He gets a sheepish grin in reply, and a flustered speech. "Sorry for being late to the meeting. I wanted to make a good impression but my entire work was ruined this morning and I had to make new copies again and-- ", he interrupts Liam, knowing where this is going. "It's alright mate," he says easily. "I was there in the cafe yeah? In fact I like some your ideas the best. No need for apologies." He gets a warm smile in return, his entire face lighting up, his eyes crinkling in the corners, closing almost entirely with the force of his smile. He grins in return, it's hard not to, he reasons, and watches him retreat back to his cubicle.

A few days go by similarly, Zayn mentoring the team, focussing on his duties, trying not to notice Liam and failing miserably. The thing is Liam is everywhere. He is there in the morning, greeting him with a cuppa, he starts joining Zayn for lunch, bringing along Niall and Harry, his two best mates in the office. He doesn't know what to feel, he likes the attention that he gets from him, likes spending time with him, but knows it can't go any further, especially not with an employee. He notes that Liam has that over-enthusiastic mannerism with everyone, not just him, so it's not like there is something  going on here. The four of them quickly become great friends, despite being entirely different from one another. He never made friends this easily before, sticking to the few childhood friends he knew well, but this is nice, he thinks. Liam is nice, his brain supplies and he can't argue with that.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

The company is hosting some party on the rooftop of the building and he finds it just as dull as every other event he went to in his life. The small talk, the gossip, the office politics never fazed him before, but he thinks his patience is wearing thin more and more recently. He is the guy that always agrees to whatever his elders say, gets things done, never denies his responsibilities, but he is finding it more difficult lately. He chugs his drink quickly, puts upon a smile, and socializes.

He casually looks around and finds Liam looking back at him. He does that a lot, Liam, always watching  him when he isn't looking. He approaches him shyly, bumping their shoulders sideways as a greeting. He turns to look at Liam giving him a curious look, as if he is trying to decipher something. "What?" he asks, consciously. Liam shrugs easily, and says, "Nothing. You don't seem happy doing this is all. Is thing something you want to do? I mean you are about to run a company, must be a lot of responsibility. You are only 23 Zayn, you have your whole life ahead of you."

It bothers Zayn, Liam saying that to him. Thinking about it is one thing and having someone else put it like that is another. "I know what I'm doing yeah. I don't need my employees advising me about my personal life" he says harshly, growing defensive. He goes way, joins a group in some conversation, trying to ignore what Liam said. He knows he is being stubborn, doesn't want to ruin his friendship with Liam, but somehow, it struck his nerve. He decides he needs to head back to his hotel, get some rest, and things will be fine in the morning.

As he exits the building, he can hear Liam calling for him. He walks faster, trying to ignore him but he catches up easily. "I didn't mean to be intrusive. Forget I said anything alright," he says, giving him a hopeful face, pouty lips and everything. It's frustrates him even more because it's working. He can feel his anger seeping away. He shrugs and starts walking, Liam apparently content in following him. When he reaches the hotel, he turns to Liam to say goodbye and finds an excited puppy-like face looking back at him. "What?" he asks, amused.  

"Come over to my place", he hears him say, and he raises an eyebrow. Liam flushes realizing what it could mean and says, "Not like-- I mean Niall and Harry will be there. Friday night is sort of like a guy's night out yeah? We basically drink cheap beer, watch movies and bitch about our bosses," he says, and quickly adds, "Not you, I mean I never looked at you like a boss you know, similar age and all", and then flushes even more and says, "Not like age matters in a position, I mean your talent-- ", Zayn takes pity on him, "I get it you dork, let's go then, come on."

So they end up quite drunk, four of them lounging on the couch, talking gibberish and laughing at everything anyone says. He also gets to know a lot about Liam, his family, about Wolverhampton, "Lots of pigeons," Liam says giggling. The more he talks to the guy, the more he likes him. He is pretty much an open book, saying whatever comes to his mind, doing whatever he wants, not apologetic about the way he is, which Zayn admires. At one point Liam buries his nose into his neck, cuddling closer, sleepily mumbling about something, and Zayn feels immense affection bubbling for this guy, a tingling in his stomach, which he tries to ignore. He knows he is quite attracted to guys, appreciates beauty when he sees it, but it has always been something casual. He never does relationships, knowing it won't work out, knowing that his family will always come first and he can't give that special someone the time that they deserve.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

He wakes up with someone's arms around him, a tight warm grip that makes him feel so secure. Liam, he realises, and the uncomfortable couch or that insistent headache suddenly doesn't matter, he wants to stay here with him, laze around the whole day and for once, not do anything at all with his time. But he knows better, he slowly gets up, trying not to wake him up. He then looks down at Liam, who is seemingly undisturbed, and he can't help but run his fingertips, along his cheekbone, under his jaw, along the lower lip. He turns around and leaves.

He wanders aimlessly trying to clear his thoughts. He is so mad at himself, he can't be thinking like this, not when he is about to get married for fucks sake. He never felt like this before is the thing, and he knows things would be different if he met Liam a couple of months ago. He imagines what it would be like, with Liam, how they would fit perfectly, how they would balance each other out. With Liam being the outwardly affectionate guy, doing everything he can to make Zayn happy and him being the quietly loving one, soft-spoken words of love and encouragement that would bring a bubbling laugh out of Liam, arguably one of his favourite things about the guy.

He needs to ignore Liam, he decides. He can't stay close to the guy and pretend not to have any feelings, and he can't let Liam get attached as well. He is doing both of them a favour, he reasons. So he goes back to the hotel, talks to his parents, to remind himself why he is here in the first place.

He avoids Liam. He doesn't smile back in the morning, turning around and walking away, he ignores what Liam has to say in the meeting that day, he sees Liam looking at him from his cubicle and looks away, not before noticing the sad glances from him, and he feels like a jerk, but he knows this needs to end now, before his will power ends and he gives in. This continues for a couple of days and he sees Liam doing the same, ignoring him as well, and it hurts, but he deserves it. Everything seems okay, at least, both staying professional and not talking unless they absolutely have to. Harry and Niall are polite, giving him sad smiles every now and then, and things are _okay_.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

He has always loved the rain, remembers running around the yard, getting himself wet and dirty, then catching cold the next day and his mum yelling at him for drenching in the first place but how it was still worth it. The earthy scent, the feeling of droplets falling on his extended palms, the cold air tingling him and sending chills down his body. It made him happy. So now as he is going back to his hotel and there is a sudden downpour, he sees people around him running to find shelter, the streets now almost empty. He feels this sudden joy, extends his arms, tilts his head back, as if welcoming the rain. He is entirely drenched, the clothes clinging to him, cool air washing over him and he can't quite stop smiling.

Suddenly the rain stops and he opens his eyes to see Liam next to him, holding an umbrella over his head, looking at him with this fascination and awe, and he can't help but smile at him, forgetting all his thoughts momentarily. He takes the umbrella from Liam's hands and drops it aside, takes his hand and makes him extended his hands as well, just like he did previously, letting Liam embrace the downpour, wanting him to feel this joy. And Liam does, so willingly, a huge smile on his face. They must look like idiots, holding hands in the middle of the street, rain pouring over them, huge grins on their faces, like they don't have a care in the world, but Zayn never felt more alive.

He doesn't know how long they stand there, but when he hears someone sneeze, he finds Liam adorably rubbing his nose. He feels guilty then, immediately reaching for the umbrella and placing it over Liam. He gets a tiny smile in return, and he hears him say, "That was amazing," and he smiles shyly in return, thinking to himself 'You are amazing'.

"Let's go, I'll walk you to the hotel," says Liam, and he nods, not knowing what to say. They walk silently, huddled under the umbrella, shoulders brushing one another. When they reach the hotel, he hears Liam sneeze again, and that guilty feeling increases. He can't let him walk to his apartment, now that the weather is becoming worse. So he relents and says, "You can stay here you know. Till the rain subsides." "Are you sure? I don't mind walking," he hears Liam say and he nods, "I'm sure."

They walk inside the hotel, into the elevator, and Zayn is not so sure anymore. He can't stop looking at Liam, his shirt, now see through, displaying his toned physique. His hair wet and falling over his face, droplets running down his neck, the birthmark over there never seemed more fascinating. He hears Liam clear his throat and realises they reached their floor. He moves out the elevator, trying to hide his blush, and struggling to make his hands work properly to swipe the keycard, failing. He curses when he drops the keycard, aware of Liam's eyes on him, when Liam chuckles and picks up the card, easily opening the door.

He quickly goes inside, letting Liam in, before closing the door. He turns around to find Liam looking at him amusedly and decides to ignore the fluttering inside. There is a sitting in the suite with a separate bedroom attached, which is where he rushes after telling Liam to get comfortable. He closes the door and leans on it, trying to get his breathing under control. He can do this, he thinks. Just ignore him till the rain stops and send him his way, he tells himself. He quickly changes his wet clothes, searching his briefcase for clothes that might fit Liam. When he does, he composes himself and goes outside.

Liam is sitting awkwardly on the couch, fiddling with his fingers, like he doesn't know what to with himself. Zayn smiles fondly and approaches him. "I hope these fit you. You can use the room over there," he points to the bedroom. "Let me know if you need anything, yeah?" he says. Liam nods, and rushes inside, while Zayn decides to make some tea in the kitchen. Liam comes outside after a moment, running a towel through his hair, grinning at Zayn. He hands him the tea and they both sit silently on the couch, Zayn switching on the TV to fill the silence.

He looks up to find Liam looking at him, his eyes scanning over his face, finally meeting his eyes and he feels quite vulnerable, feels like Liam can read his thoughts, find out every little secret in his life. But he feels safe at the same time, like it's _okay_ if Liam knows. There is this unspoken trust within, and this connection between them, a gravitating pull that makes him lean forward. It looks like Liam feels the same way as he moves forward as well. He can feel the warm exhale on his lips, looks at Liam's eyes to find him staring at his lips then closing his eyes, anticipating a kiss. He badly wants to close the distance, he _does_ , wants to let himself have this one moment. Mould his lips with his and hold him there forever.

He stands abruptly, making Liam open his eyes. He looks confused, and Zayn feels pathetic. "Looks like the rain stopped, so you are free to go. Do you want me call a cab? It's quite chilly outside," he says. A sad look crosses on Liam replaced by a determined one. He watches Liam stand up and move towards him. With his every step forward, he takes a step back until he finds himself cornered into a wall, Liam placing both his hands beside his face, closing him in. Liam then moves forward, nuzzles his face in his neck, and starts placing tiny kisses all over his neck, his collarbones, jaw line. Zayn feels rooted to the spot, every little touch sending shivers down his spine. He clenches his fists and tries to struggle free, but Liam stops him by moving his hands to his waist, grip tight. He looks up at Liam, finding his eyes filled with lust. "Tell me you don't feel something here", he says, slowly closing in. "Tell me there is nothing going on. Look into my eyes and ask me to leave and I'll go", he says, lips an inch away from his own.

And Zayn can't fight this anymore. He can feel his will power seeping away, every thought in his mind replaced with _Liam_. He does the one thing he wanted to do ever since he met this guy, he leans forward and kisses him. He moves his hands up Liam's chest, into his hair, gripping the still wet locks. Liam moves impossibly closer to him, his hands grabbing his hips tightly and making Zayn moan. Liam takes this opportunity to guide his tongue inside Zayn's mouth, running it along his teeth, meeting his tongue. The kiss slowly turns from rough and passionate to a much delicate one. He shows the love and affection he feels for this boy through the kiss, pouring all his feelings into it. He loses himself into this sensation, feeling the weight on his shoulders slip away. After what feels like a long time, he slowly pulls away, nibbling on Liam's lower lip as he does.

Liam is looking at him with a content smile on his face and Zayn can't help but run his hands on his cheekbone, over his nose, admiring the guy in front of him. Liam takes his hand in his, brings it to his lips to place a kiss on the knuckles. He looks at their intertwined hands, how perfectly they fit with one another, and suddenly this realization dawns upon him. There is going to be a ring placed on his finger, a _wedding_ ring, and that he was already promised to someone else. It would be easy to forget all that, easy to walk away from his duties, but he can't. He _won't_.

"I can't do this Liam", he says. And just like that, all the colour drains from his face. "But why? We both like each other, what's the problem? Is it because I'm an employee because-- ", "I'm getting married next week," he interrupts him. Liam looks completely startled and he can't blame him. "What?! What do you mean you're getting married? Why didn't you tell me?" Liam asks, looking completely lost. "All this time I thought there was something going on here," he hears him say and yeah, he is right, he should have told him before. But he didn't think Liam would like him back and things would get this intense. "I'm sorry," he utters, not knowing what to do.

Liam looks completely broken after that, backing away from him. He slides down the wall, curling into himself, feeling wretched. He hears Liam grabbing his clothes and walking away and just when he thought he left, he hears Liam says, "Do you love them?" He looks up to Liam, who is clutching the doorknob tightly, knuckles turning white, a slight hope on his face. "Leave," he says, "You said you would leave if I asked you to. I'm asking you. Go." Liam leaves, slamming the hotel door, and he finally sheds the tears.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

_He dreams of a place, a completely deserted area with nothing around;  finds a breathtaking view of the never-ending sky and ocean surrounding him, as he stares endlessly into the unknown. He feels broken inside, there is this pain rippling through him, but doesn't know what exactly is wrong with him. The sky turns grey, clouds covering the entire span of his vision. He finds himself sitting at the shore, on the rocks, letting the waves caress his feet, but the waves suddenly get rough, drenching him entirely with a force that wasn't there before. This place, once serene, doesn't seem to be anymore._

He wakes up to his deafening alarm, startled, with a massive headache forming. He curses as he gets up, rubbing his palms on his face, willing for the sleep to go away. 'Five more days,' he thinks. Five more days and his life will be dramatically changed. He hears his mum come in, gives her a weak smile as a greeting. She gives him a concerned look and says, "Are you okay Zayn? You don't seem happy. Is there anything going on with you that I don't know about?" Zayn sighs. He knows how it looks, he couldn't make himself smile for the past two days, couldn't even pretend to be happy. The celebrations went to a whole new level, all his relatives and distant family members settling in their house, people everywhere, everyone around him seems happy, when it should be him. It should be him celebrating with his friends and relatives, him being excited about _his_ day. But ever since he came back, he has been hiding in his room, avoiding everyone. He is allowed to, he thinks, as he went through the heartbreak and all. But no one knows that, and leave it to his mum to figure out that something is wrong.

"Nothing is going on, you worry too much," he says, going to the washroom to avoid further conversation. He feels guilty about worrying her and everyone else, so flashes some water on his face, gives himself a bit of a pep talk and gets ready. He puts in some effort too, gets involved in everything that's going on downstairs, lets his sisters pick at him a bit, acting indignant when his aunts start cooing at him, saying how adorable he looks. He is not _cute_ , he mutters to himself, devilishly handsome is more like it. At least he didn't lose his vanity.

By evening, he gets back to his robotic routine he maintained before, before London, before _Liam_. Gosh, he needs to stop thinking about him now. Everything is becoming okay around him, he doesn't need any more distractions, if he is to make it till the wedding. Just as he thinking this, he hears loud voices outside, and few of the girls running there, surrounding themselves at the doorway, cheering at something. Louis, he thinks and shakes his head in amusement. He loves attention, _needs_ the attention and he is probably pulling some antics to get some.

He makes his way towards the source of noises and stops in his tracks--  there is Louis dramatically giving some narrative to the crowd that gathered around, but that is not what stops him. No, he is used to that. What he sees there is Niall and Harry beside him, laughing along with everyone, joining in on the storytelling sporadically. What are they doing here? They are not supposed to transfer to Bradford for another two weeks. And he doesn't remember inviting them to the wedding, no, because inviting them would mean inviting Liam and he would rather not do that, considering everything that happened.

Most importantly, does that mean Liam-- . He spots him, behind Louis, talking to his baba, and that is a sight that he had been dreading for the past couple of days. Of course he thought about what it would be like, telling his dad about Liam, and how bad the situation could become. It's not because his parents have a problem with him dating guys. He was caught kissing his friend at the doorstep once, Brian? something. He was pretty scared how his parents would react, but it wasn't as serious as he thought. His baba acted awkwardly around him for a few days, before telling him that he was fine with it and tried to give him the _talk_ , at which he had groaned. No, he is sure his family would have been okay with him dating Liam, before all this. But now, he doesn't know how they will react, and he doesn't want them to feel guilty about this marriage or worse stop this marriage from happening and suffer because they would rather see him happy.

So he rushes towards them, trying to stop Liam from saying anything, but something even weird happens, Liam has this mischievous grin on his face upon spotting him and he says, "Oh, Zayn! I was just talking to your dad about some company stuff." Suddenly he gets a handful of Liam, hugging him, and what the hell is going on here?. "I know you wanted us to be here as soon as possible but I had to finish some things at the office before attending my mate's wedding," he says, and What?! He never invited anyone-- , before he could formulate what is going on, Harry and Niall are joining in on the scene, hugging him, telling his baba how close the four of them are, especially Liam and Zayn, and how they couldn't wait to join in on the celebrations.

Louis joins in then, saying "I like them. They can be our friends. You have got the Tommo's approval," with his hand raised as a blessing and all. He hears his baba tell them all to settle down in their house, stay here till the wedding. All this would be funny, if it were happening to someone else. Zayn just looks around, completely clueless as to what's happening, when he spots Liam, looking back at him, and he feels angry all of a sudden. Didn't he tell him to leave, back off from his life. What was he playing at?!

He takes Liam's hand and drags him upstairs to his room, avoiding everyone who approaches them in between, closing the door and shoving Liam against it. He feels frustrated, wants to punch him, wants to demand an explanation, but at that time, looking at him, he realises he misses him more than anything. Before he can do anything, Liam is moving forward and smashing his lips against his. And wow, it feels incredible. He can't help but return it, pushing him backwards, clutching the collar of his shirt, and deepening the kiss. He feels Liam helplessly grinding against him so he returns the action. It's rough and dirty, the way Liam moves against him, grabbing his bum to bring him even closer, providing the much needed friction. He feels Liam's hands unbutton his jeans and he lets him, all his thoughts becoming incoherent. Liam wastes no time in bringing his cock out, taking him in a loose grip and starts stroking. He moves his lips to the birthmark on his neck, starts sucking and biting the skin around. Liam lets out a soft moan at that, his grip tightening around him.

It's rough from then, his hands undoing Liam's jeans, taking his hard cock into his hand, rubbing his erection against Liam's. He brings both their members into a tight grip, quickly getting them off, as Liam buries his head in his shoulders, hands going under his shirt, nails scratching down his back. He is close and feels this ecstasy running inside him, which is heightened due to the fact that it is Liam causing him this. That thought alone brings him to his release, and he comes with Liam's name on his tongue. He feels Liam stiffen at that, feels him reach his high, warm liquid covering his hand as Liam comes, biting under his jaw. They both stay like that, clutching one another and calming their heartbeats.

He hears Louis calling for him outside the door and he quickly straightens himself, does his jeans back up and exits the room, not sparing a glance at Liam. That shouldn't have happened. He can't afford to lose control like that. He will confront Liam, tell him this is a misunderstanding, and will send him on his way, he decides. He sees Louis looking at his neck and pressing the spot where he is sure Liam left a mark. Louis looks smug at that, so he avoids his gaze. He lets Louis tug him into this game of spin the bottle that they are playing downstairs, his cousins, friends and everyone gathered around in a circle, settling in. He looks around to see Liam joining them as well, sitting in between Niall and Harry.

A game of truth or dare begins, and he is passively playing, trying to pay attention but his thoughts are running in several directions. He sees Louis spinning the bottle and it lands on one of their high schools friends, Leona is her name he recollects, who chooses a dare. "You have to kiss Liam," says Louis mischievously, "keeping in mind that there are children around," he adds quickly. Everyone laughs at that except him, too busy glaring at Louis, who looks like the cat that got the cream. She slowly approaches Liam, leans down to give a peck to the corner of Liam's mouth and he feels this insane jealousy, this possessiveness overcoming him. He looks up to see Liam smiling at her, stopping her from retreating back, and kissing her cheek as a return gesture, but what's worse is Liam looking directly at him as he does, daring him to stop this, as if he knows exactly what effect he has on Zayn. It frustrates him that he can't, stop him that is. Liam can do whatever he wants, he has no right to feel this way. He watches as everyone coos at them, the girl blushing and walking back to her seat and he can't take this anymore. He excuses himself and goes out into the yard, craving some fresh air.

He lights up a joint, trying to calm himself, letting the smoke soothe him from the inside. He feels someone approach him from behind and turns to find Liam. He feels defeated all of sudden, wants all this to end. "What do want Liam? I'm sorry for not telling you before and letting things get out of hand. What more do you want me to say?" he says, feeling tears gathering in his eyes. Liam softens at that and says, "I felt so dejected when you said you were getting married. I wanted to see you happy Zayn, didn't want to come in between all of this. Then I heard someone talking at the office about how this was all arranged, about the business deal and I put two and two together. You are doing this for your family, aren't you? Are you ready to give away your whole life, just like that?"

"You don't understand Liam, ever since I was I boy, I had everything one could ever want, never had to ask for anything. They have done so much for me, and now that they need me, I can't not help, you know. I have two younger sisters to take care of, they are so used to these riches, this lifestyle and I can't watch them not have that. I would do anything for them," he says, hoping Liam would understand. "Do you think they will be happy once they know how much you didn't want this? As far as I have seen, your family loves you more than anything, Zayn. If you spend your whole life doing something that makes you unhappy, you think they will not know?" he hears him say and he feels angry. "No one has to know anything. Things will turn out just fine for everyone. Let it go Liam. There can never be a you and I."

"It's not about us anymore Zayn. I don't care what you end up doing, as long as you are happy. That's the problem right there. You don't _seem_ happy. All I see is a boy trying so hard to fulfil his duties that no one asked him to, a boy who feels this need to prove himself to his family, a boy who has never learned to say _no_. And I'm not going to sit here and let you ruin your life for nothing. I can't change your mind or tell you what to do, but I'll be damned if I don't _try,_ " he says, and walks away. He lets out a long sigh, too exhausted to think anything, and goes to his room, and falls on the bed, sleep overcoming him in seconds.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Liam was not kidding when he said he would try his best. He is literally _everywhere,_ he thinks. He wakes up the next day, walks down the hallway and sees the guestroom door open and spots Liam, wet and almost naked, just a towel hanging around his waist, water droplets falling down the torso-- , he goes back to his room, and takes a cold shower. He goes down to see Liam helping his mum and his aunts in the kitchen, stirring something on the pot with a huge smile, chatting away with his sisters. He can see everyone gravitating to that energy, even Louis seems to like him, them both running around the house, pulling pranks on everyone, and Louis whispering to him as he passes by, "For once, listen to your heart."

He sees Liam in the office, talking to his baba, something about budget management and cutting costs, and sees his baba giving Liam a sideways hug, smiling and patting his shoulders. He sees Liam charming _everyone_ , the security guards outside his house, the servants, cooks, the people at the office. His aunts seem to love him, pulling him into their conversations, telling him how adorable he is. Liam is there when they are having dinner that night, sitting in between his aunt, coughing when they feed him something too spicy. He watches his mum coo at him and hand him a glass of water. His sisters don't seem to want to let him go either, Safaa in particular. He watches her trying to braid his hair, Liam pouting at her, and Safaa giggling, then trying to run away. Liam easily lifts her, tickling her sides and she is squealing with laughter, begging to be put down. He watches everyone smiling at this, and he can't help the affection that spreads inside him for this boy, wants to hold him there and never let him go. He looks up to see his mum looking back at him curiously so he goes back to his room, feeling caught.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

He wakes up to his mum running her hands through his hair, and a huge smile spreads across his face. "I missed spending time with you Zayn. You are always busy lately," she says, then adds "You will be married in two days. How are you feeling about all this? It feels like with everything happening so suddenly, no one had time to ask you properly."

"Fine mum. Just tired," he says, "I'll be fine by the wedding, It's cool." His mum doesn't seem satisfied with the answer though. "People are not _fine_ about their wedding Zayn. They are ecstatic. They usually can't wait for it. You, on the other hand, look like you are dreading the day," she says. "Are you not happy with the wedding?" she asks slowly. He tries to avoid the conversation by changing the topic but she picks it up. "What is it Zayn? Tell me the truth."

So Zayn tells. He has never been able to hide anything from her anyways. He doesn't mention Liam, but he tells her that this is his responsibility, this is the best way to ensure their family has a secure future. "Oh Zayn, I knew something like this is going on in your head. You have done so much for us. You were the perfect boy I could have asked for. But this is your entire life you are talking about, not just yours but that girl's as well. You shouldn't be doing this if you don't want to," she says. He shifts, places his head in her lap, letting her run her fingers through his hair, needing some affection. "There is something else, isn't it?", she asks.

"I met someone, in the office actually. Never felt that way before. I tried to ignore it so much, you know. The feeling just never went away," he reveals, softly. "It's Liam, isn't it?" she asks, but something tells him she already knows the answer to that, so he nods.

"Oh Zayn. It's still not too late. We can tell your baba--". "No," he interrupts, "Don't tell him mum, it's the only way the deal is going to happen." "But think about the girl who is about to marry you Zayn, and about Liam. We can manage without few of the riches, but if you go on with this, you would be juggling with the lives of two other people," she says. "Please give me some time to think about this," he says. He watches her nod sadly and leave.

She is right, he thinks. Accepting the offer before still felt alright, but now things are too complicated. He would never be able to make her truly happy, not when his heart belongs somewhere else. This would not be fair on anyone. But before making any decisions, he needs to find an alternative to save the company. He rushes to the office, browsing through the paperwork, taking help from Harry and Niall, trying to find anything to avoid the deal. He spends entire night there as well, telling everyone he would be home tomorrow. He gets a few calls from Liam as well, but ignores them. He will talk to him once he finalizes onto something, that is the least he could do after everything he has put him through.

He quickly realises there is nothing much that can be done, without facing the imminent loss. The only way is to let his in-laws know that he can't go through with the wedding in the nicest way possible, and plead for any alternate deals.

The sun is rising above, and he is knackered, but decides it's time to face this, it's now or never. He goes home, explains to his baba about the situation, and he doesn't know what he expected, but everything goes so smoothly. "Why didn't you tell me sooner beta? It's fine. It's not as bad as you think. Since that proposal, I have been approached with alternative deals that I rejected because this was going well. It won't be as great as this, but nothing is more important than _you_." He hugs his baba tightly, he can't believe it was this easy. All he had to say was a simple _no_ , and just like that everyone is okay with this.

He can see his mum looking at him proudly, can see Louis grinning, giving him a thumbs up, see his sisters hugging him, telling him that they love him. He couldn't believe he was doing all that before to get this sort of love, he should have know his family would love him no matter what. That's what Liam was trying to tell him, he realises then, and quickly looks around trying to find him, knowing how happy he would be to witness this.

"He left," his mum says, understanding what he is searching for. "He went back to London, saying he can't stay here anymore," says Louis. "I tried to stop him, but he looked so miserable that I couldn't."

Zayn nods, feeling guilty about it. Liam probably thought Zayn won't change his mind, he thinks. He wants to go back to London right now, but knows he has to deal with the mess that he created here. So he calls in-laws, the girl first, feels like he owes her this much, and surprisingly she seems alright with it, it's better than getting to know that after the marriage, she says. His father-in-law seems angry and upset at first, but calms down when his baba talks to him. He refuses to continue the deal, which Zayn knew would happen, which also means Liam won't be transferring to their office here.

Now that everything is settled, he feels this sense of freedom he never felt before. Along with everyone else feeling proud of him for making the right decision, he feels proud of _himself_. He knows things won't be great all at once, knows they probably have to lose some of their business, but everyone seems happy, _he_ is happy, and that's all that matters.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

_He dreams of a place with a breathtaking view of the never-ending sky and ocean surrounding him, as he stares endlessly into the unknown. He finds himself sitting at the shore, on the rocks, letting the waves caress his feet, and a serene smile forming on his face. He feels this sense of tranquillity within himself, quite content with his own company, without any major responsibilities impending upon him. He thinks he hears someone call out for him, and he turns around, searching for the source, and finds someone approaching him from behind, standing next to him. He can't quite look at his face, the sun blinding his vision. The rays seem to shine around the guys head, making him look like an angel that fell out of the sky. The guy settles beside him, giving him a smile, bringing a hand to his face, running his fingertips over his cheekbone, that spreads a smile on his face._

He wakes up to Liam caressing his jaw, then his chin, his eyes fluttering open, and he groans softly, shielding his eyes from the sunlight through the window. "Sleep Liam," he says, pulling him next to him and cuddling him closer. "You are so adorable when you sleep," he hears him say, and he can't help but cheekily ask, "Like what you see?". Liam giggles at that, turning to face him and earnestly saying, "Very much." He smiles at that, wondering how things turned out this great for him.

He remembers going to London, standing outside Liam's house, feeling more nervous than ever before. He remembers pacing through the hallway gaining courage to knock on the door, when he sees Liam open the door, mouth falling open from seeing him there. He remembers Liam having a neutral face as he explained things, and just when he started to think that maybe Liam moved on or something, he had a lap full of Liam hugging him, whispering how happy he was for him, and he hugged him back just as tightly, feeling like he had just conquered the world.

He had decided to move in with Liam for a bit, figuring he needed some time to find himself, who he is outside his family. Everyone was supportive of course, and these two months he realized so much about himself than he did for the past twenty years, he thinks.  He had no plans for the future, slowly figuring out what he wants as the days pass by, Liam being this amazing source of support when needed.

He looks at Liam who is sleepily looking back at him, a fond smile on his face. He closes the distance between them, placing a soft kiss on his lips, letting Liam pull him closer. "Sleep," says Liam, "We have all the time in the world." He does fall asleep then, with Liam next to him, his mind pleasantly blank and things couldn't be any better.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I have ever written a fic, and I apologize for any mistakes or inaccuracies. Find me on [tumblr.](http://www.liampayneasf.tumblr.com)


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